In the midst of writing Day 4 I realized my Day 3 Truth!!
It really isn't something I am excited about except that it seemed wrong to be so carefree as to not have something I needed to forgive myself for.
Anyway, I need to stop beating myself up for breaking up with my first fiance. Looking back I don't think we would have ever gotten married and lived happily ever after, but he did something bad and I kicked him to the curb. Had I been more mature I might have been a bit more understanding and we might have worked through it. Taking it way too extreme in a whole "Sliding Doors" fashion.....maybe if I hadn't thrown his ring at him and slammed the door, maybe he wouldn't have been in the place he was when he was killed. (No gang war or drugs or anything sinister......just wrong place wrong time)
I am not losing sleep over this. I realize the events leading to his demise had NOTHING to do with our break up. It comes down to this: The world was a better place with him in it. If some little change in any event could have resulted in him still being here, I wish it had.
But like I have been saying, this isn't some dark shadow across my psyche.....just a "what if"....
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Saturday, October 30, 2010
Yet Another Test
I just signed up for Twitterfeed (thank you Cheree) and want to make sure it is working.
Back to your regularly scheduled whatevering!
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Friday, October 29, 2010
Truth Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for
Today I can make up for yesterday's lack of an answer. (You know, maybe yesterday should have been "Something someone else needs to forgive you for"? I might have had more of an answer for that. (Don't I sound like a cold beyotch??)
1- my brother. I need to forgive him for lying, for taking advantage of his family and friends, and for believing through it all that he was doing nothing wrong. Still angry, can you tell?
1.5 - I should comment here how thankful I am that I had that last discussion/disagreement with my mother just before she passed. Otherwise she would be #2. Granted I said nothing I hadn't already said but it felt good because she sounded like she actually finally understood!
(And here while thinking about the other person I need to forgive I remember what I need to forgive myself for. I'll be back in a minute!)
2. I once had a friend who was a bad, bad person. She did something evil. She did it purely because she could and because she knew it would hurt someone. The fact that it hurt a friend had no impact on her decision to do it. I have already forgiven her. She isn't worth my mental energy. I only mention her here because I would still trip her into a muddy puddle if I had the chance! So maube I haven't COMPLETELY forgiven her? Lol!!
Golly.....isn't this fun?
Sent from my Blackberry!
1- my brother. I need to forgive him for lying, for taking advantage of his family and friends, and for believing through it all that he was doing nothing wrong. Still angry, can you tell?
1.5 - I should comment here how thankful I am that I had that last discussion/disagreement with my mother just before she passed. Otherwise she would be #2. Granted I said nothing I hadn't already said but it felt good because she sounded like she actually finally understood!
(And here while thinking about the other person I need to forgive I remember what I need to forgive myself for. I'll be back in a minute!)
2. I once had a friend who was a bad, bad person. She did something evil. She did it purely because she could and because she knew it would hurt someone. The fact that it hurt a friend had no impact on her decision to do it. I have already forgiven her. She isn't worth my mental energy. I only mention her here because I would still trip her into a muddy puddle if I had the chance! So maube I haven't COMPLETELY forgiven her? Lol!!
Golly.....isn't this fun?
Sent from my Blackberry!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Truth Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Alrighty......maybe I do not have enough depth of life experience or maybe it is that I no conscience....but I can't really think of anything I need to forgive myself for. I have thought really hard about it too! I started this post this morning so I could really think about the question.
Sure I should have kept on that exercise/weight loss program. Sure I should call my Dad more often. Sure I should get up early and make my kids lunch every day. Whatever! But something so heinous that I need to FORGIVE myself for it? No.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Truth Day 2: Something You Love About Yourself
Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to be critical of yourself than to be complimentary?
What do I love about myself? People say I am creative. That is something worth loving. People say I am generous and friendly. Those are both good qualities, right? But I don't think I am abnormally creative and I am no more friendly or generous than anyone else. So what do I love about myself? I love my love of reading!
Why would this be something worthy of being THE thing I choose for this honor? Well, because it has given me knowledge and understanding. I have learned about people and cultures I may never meet. Because reading has made me think and become more thoughtful. Reading has broadened my horizons and exposed me to ideas I might otherwise be ignorant of. Because reading has made me independent. I feel no shame in going somewhere alone. I am not lonely because I always have a book full of entertaining companions with me. But most of all because I have been able to pass this love on to my children. How awesome is it that one of their favorite presents/prizes is a trip to the book store? I love being able to chat with the boys about the books they are reading for school or we have both read. I love those afternoons/evenings where we are all hanging around a quiet house reading our various books!
So......I love being a reader and raising my kids to be readers! A family that reads together succeeds together! Lol!!
What do YOU love about yourself (Miranda)????
Sent from my Blackberry!
What do I love about myself? People say I am creative. That is something worth loving. People say I am generous and friendly. Those are both good qualities, right? But I don't think I am abnormally creative and I am no more friendly or generous than anyone else. So what do I love about myself? I love my love of reading!
Why would this be something worthy of being THE thing I choose for this honor? Well, because it has given me knowledge and understanding. I have learned about people and cultures I may never meet. Because reading has made me think and become more thoughtful. Reading has broadened my horizons and exposed me to ideas I might otherwise be ignorant of. Because reading has made me independent. I feel no shame in going somewhere alone. I am not lonely because I always have a book full of entertaining companions with me. But most of all because I have been able to pass this love on to my children. How awesome is it that one of their favorite presents/prizes is a trip to the book store? I love being able to chat with the boys about the books they are reading for school or we have both read. I love those afternoons/evenings where we are all hanging around a quiet house reading our various books!
So......I love being a reader and raising my kids to be readers! A family that reads together succeeds together! Lol!!
What do YOU love about yourself (Miranda)????
Sent from my Blackberry!
Let's see here...
New phone. Does it still work with blogger? Of it does I could probably answer that second truth while waiting in line at Starbucks!
Sent from my Blackberry!
Sent from my Blackberry!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Truth Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
in case you joined us late (ha!)......I am trying out 30 Posts of Truth! and NO, I will not place bets on how long I follow through! thanks for even THINKING that!
Something you hate about yourself
I would love to say how much I hate my thin hair or my total QE1 hairline, but that would be rather superficial. (I still do hate them.) what I really hate is my lack of style. I have NO fashion sense! whether it is due to my lack of heighth or my overly curvy figure (ha!) or whatever, I can not seem to find clothing that is "me." the classic tailored look makes me look like a dumpy old lady. boho makes me look like a homeless person who scored a shower. etc....you get the point. the closest I can come to feeling like "me" is shorts, Keds, and a sweatshirt. somehow that doesn't work for an office environment and really isn't the most attractive look for me in any environment. when it comes down to it, I blame my shortness. I think I could pull off clothes a lot easier with a couple extra inches on me. even when I have lost weight I have still suffered from fashion stupidity. I don't want to be some perfect model. I just want to look like I knew what I was doing that morning! (and, for the record....yes I realize worrying about my lacking fashionista skills is superficial too.....)
Something you hate about yourself
I would love to say how much I hate my thin hair or my total QE1 hairline, but that would be rather superficial. (I still do hate them.) what I really hate is my lack of style. I have NO fashion sense! whether it is due to my lack of heighth or my overly curvy figure (ha!) or whatever, I can not seem to find clothing that is "me." the classic tailored look makes me look like a dumpy old lady. boho makes me look like a homeless person who scored a shower. etc....you get the point. the closest I can come to feeling like "me" is shorts, Keds, and a sweatshirt. somehow that doesn't work for an office environment and really isn't the most attractive look for me in any environment. when it comes down to it, I blame my shortness. I think I could pull off clothes a lot easier with a couple extra inches on me. even when I have lost weight I have still suffered from fashion stupidity. I don't want to be some perfect model. I just want to look like I knew what I was doing that morning! (and, for the record....yes I realize worrying about my lacking fashionista skills is superficial too.....)
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