In the midst of writing Day 4 I realized my Day 3 Truth!!
It really isn't something I am excited about except that it seemed wrong to be so carefree as to not have something I needed to forgive myself for.
Anyway, I need to stop beating myself up for breaking up with my first fiance. Looking back I don't think we would have ever gotten married and lived happily ever after, but he did something bad and I kicked him to the curb. Had I been more mature I might have been a bit more understanding and we might have worked through it. Taking it way too extreme in a whole "Sliding Doors" fashion.....maybe if I hadn't thrown his ring at him and slammed the door, maybe he wouldn't have been in the place he was when he was killed. (No gang war or drugs or anything sinister......just wrong place wrong time)
I am not losing sleep over this. I realize the events leading to his demise had NOTHING to do with our break up. It comes down to this: The world was a better place with him in it. If some little change in any event could have resulted in him still being here, I wish it had.
But like I have been saying, this isn't some dark shadow across my psyche.....just a "what if"....
Sent from my Blackberry!
No comments:
Post a Comment