Saturday, October 30, 2010
It really isn't something I am excited about except that it seemed wrong to be so carefree as to not have something I needed to forgive myself for.
Anyway, I need to stop beating myself up for breaking up with my first fiance. Looking back I don't think we would have ever gotten married and lived happily ever after, but he did something bad and I kicked him to the curb. Had I been more mature I might have been a bit more understanding and we might have worked through it. Taking it way too extreme in a whole "Sliding Doors" fashion.....maybe if I hadn't thrown his ring at him and slammed the door, maybe he wouldn't have been in the place he was when he was killed. (No gang war or drugs or anything sinister......just wrong place wrong time)
I am not losing sleep over this. I realize the events leading to his demise had NOTHING to do with our break up. It comes down to this: The world was a better place with him in it. If some little change in any event could have resulted in him still being here, I wish it had.
But like I have been saying, this isn't some dark shadow across my psyche.....just a "what if"....
Sent from my Blackberry!
Friday, October 29, 2010
1- my brother. I need to forgive him for lying, for taking advantage of his family and friends, and for believing through it all that he was doing nothing wrong. Still angry, can you tell?
1.5 - I should comment here how thankful I am that I had that last discussion/disagreement with my mother just before she passed. Otherwise she would be #2. Granted I said nothing I hadn't already said but it felt good because she sounded like she actually finally understood!
(And here while thinking about the other person I need to forgive I remember what I need to forgive myself for. I'll be back in a minute!)
2. I once had a friend who was a bad, bad person. She did something evil. She did it purely because she could and because she knew it would hurt someone. The fact that it hurt a friend had no impact on her decision to do it. I have already forgiven her. She isn't worth my mental energy. I only mention her here because I would still trip her into a muddy puddle if I had the chance! So maube I haven't COMPLETELY forgiven her? Lol!!
Golly.....isn't this fun?
Sent from my Blackberry!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sure I should have kept on that exercise/weight loss program. Sure I should call my Dad more often. Sure I should get up early and make my kids lunch every day. Whatever! But something so heinous that I need to FORGIVE myself for it? No.
Sent from my Blackberry!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
What do I love about myself? People say I am creative. That is something worth loving. People say I am generous and friendly. Those are both good qualities, right? But I don't think I am abnormally creative and I am no more friendly or generous than anyone else. So what do I love about myself? I love my love of reading!
Why would this be something worthy of being THE thing I choose for this honor? Well, because it has given me knowledge and understanding. I have learned about people and cultures I may never meet. Because reading has made me think and become more thoughtful. Reading has broadened my horizons and exposed me to ideas I might otherwise be ignorant of. Because reading has made me independent. I feel no shame in going somewhere alone. I am not lonely because I always have a book full of entertaining companions with me. But most of all because I have been able to pass this love on to my children. How awesome is it that one of their favorite presents/prizes is a trip to the book store? I love being able to chat with the boys about the books they are reading for school or we have both read. I love those afternoons/evenings where we are all hanging around a quiet house reading our various books!
So......I love being a reader and raising my kids to be readers! A family that reads together succeeds together! Lol!!
What do YOU love about yourself (Miranda)????
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Something you hate about yourself
I would love to say how much I hate my thin hair or my total QE1 hairline, but that would be rather superficial. (I still do hate them.) what I really hate is my lack of style. I have NO fashion sense! whether it is due to my lack of heighth or my overly curvy figure (ha!) or whatever, I can not seem to find clothing that is "me." the classic tailored look makes me look like a dumpy old lady. boho makes me look like a homeless person who scored a shower. etc....you get the point. the closest I can come to feeling like "me" is shorts, Keds, and a sweatshirt. somehow that doesn't work for an office environment and really isn't the most attractive look for me in any environment. when it comes down to it, I blame my shortness. I think I could pull off clothes a lot easier with a couple extra inches on me. even when I have lost weight I have still suffered from fashion stupidity. I don't want to be some perfect model. I just want to look like I knew what I was doing that morning! (and, for the record....yes I realize worrying about my lacking fashionista skills is superficial too.....)
Here are the rules:
every day for 30 days, you post a truth about yourself. I'm warning you, some of these are NASTY SCARY things to think about! and, I am telling you now, there are a few I am just going to post vague comments about. I will not post anything that would hurt anyone if they read my blog. that isn't the point of this exercise!
If you decide to try this yourself (cough, cough.....PEGGY) let me know so I can see what you say!
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
so............... here we go! (yippee!)